Tag: personal

Reflections on “The Alchemist” Part XV

“The closer one gets to realizing his personal legend, the more that personal legend becomes true reason for being, thought the boy.”

Working…playing…living.

I used to go to work to collect a paycheck. It was alright, I had other passions that were more important. Some may not know, but I was previously a competitive strength athlete, having placed 2nd in IL in both powerlifting and Strongman. If you don’t believe me, check this out (https://youtu.be/Z-BXSbcpwRw).

I’ve since quit competitive lifting, but still needed that outlet of playtime. “Work” has become play. Each patient that presents to the clinic is a new puzzle that I get to piece together. There are so many facets to the puzzle. Movement is obvious…I’m a PT…there will be movement. Personality is another. Beliefs and biases. Teaching the patient and learning from the patient.

Living. I’ve heard it a couple times this week alone. A patient walks into the clinic and says either “it’s like a miracle” or “it’s like magic”. My xyz is almost gone or completely gone. Symptoms that had been present for days, weeks, months, decades seem to vanish with simple treatments that patients can perform at home.

Did I mention I love my job?

If not, I love my job. I still get goosebumps when I get this response. It’s like a kid in a candy store. I have to keep from wetting myself I get so excited to hear these phrases. Although it makes me feel good to help the patient get back to their previously lifestyle. It’s a different feeling for me.

It’s like beating Bowser. It’s up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right B, A, B, A, select start.

Yeah…it’s that feeling. It far surpasses money. It’s about the game.

Reflections on “The Alchemist” Part XVI

“When someone makes a decision, he is really diving into a strong current that will carry him to places he had never dreamed of when he first made the decision.”

A long time ago, I was unsure of what to do as a profession. I prayed and prayed between going to medical school and going into education. After much prayer, I decided to become a high school teacher. I thought I would teach biology since science always came easy to me.

After attending Joliet Junior College, my goal was sidetracked by a want. I wanted to experience the college life and the city life. I chose to go to UIC in order to experience the city. Little did I know, they didn’t offer a biology secondary education program. I was more interested in experiencing the college life than teaching biology, so I signed up to be a Spanish teacher. To me it was like a compromise. Mind you, I didn’t speak Spanish outside of what everyone learned in high school. I should’ve put a little more thought into that decision. I spent a year at UIC studying mostly Spanish and experiencing the city through tours, classes and groups. It was a very expensive year…which I’m still paying off. In the end, I came to my senses and realized that the Spanish language just isn’t why I want to spend my entire career around.

I transferred to Governors State University to finally study Biology secondary education. I made it through the program and during one of my student teaching experiences, I realized that politics never go away. This situation was enough for me to not want to be a part of the education profession.

Luckily for me, one of the courses I took was taught by a PT professor with PT students in the course. Because the body has always made sense to me, it was a blow-off course for me, but many of the PT students struggled.

The professor came up to me and noted that if I applied to PT school that I would definitely get into the program. I had no intentions of becoming a PT initially. Aside from a short bout of PT after surgery when I was younger, I didn’t even know why PTs really did aside from follow the protocol by the surgeon.

I had my plans of becoming a teacher squashed. I had nothing better to do at the time, so I applied to PT school. I didn’t realize how hard it was to get into a PT program because I was essentially recruited into the profession.

I still think about that day at Loyola University kneeling at the statue of Jesus by the lake. It’s one of those things in which the best laid plan is laughable by God. I had no clue that my life would go into this direction.

Now that I’m here, I feel I should make the most of it. These past two years have really pushed my comfort level and people have noticed. UpDoc Media tanked me in the top 40 in the country, as an influencer in 2017. The local newspaper, that I read growing up, ran a two page article about my journey. I’ve impacted many kids in our community both through my story and volunteering.

I’m not at the place I want to be financially, but I think that after 12 years in this profession that I am starting to find my place.

Reflections on “The Alchemist” Part XIII

“People need not fear the unknown if they are capable of achieving what they need and want.”

This is something that it took me time to figure out. I was afraid of making the jump back to private practice physical therapy because of the lifestyle that I had grown accustomed to living.

When making this jump, I wasn’t thinking about the sacrifices we would have to make, such as no vacations for awhile, making dinner at home instead of Chiptle, brewing our own coffee instead of going to Dublin (because Starbucks is too expensive even when doing well).

Essentially, what I had to decide is…is the sacrifice worth it? Do I think I’m too good that I can’t go back to living the same way I grew up in order to achieve a long term goal?

Have I gotten so used to living easy that I’m above making sacrifices?

The answer is no. I made a jump and failed. It’s okay. We still have the basics and a roof over our head.

This simply means that we lived to take another risk. I landed back on my feet, but have to work longer hours than previously.

My wife is the true hero of this story. She is the one that (wo)mans the fort while I’m off trying to save the world. Without her as the cornerstone, I wouldn’t be able to attempt any of the goals that I have succeeded and failed while attempting.

For all, take a risk, when you are ready and able. Don’t make the leap if you can’t afford to fail. Don’t stay in a failing business if the end result is a major impact on your or your family’s health.

As long as a failure is not a figurative death blow, nothing ventured nothing lost or gained.

Reflections on “The Alchemist” Part X

“Now, I’m beginning what I could have started 10 years ago. But I’m happy at least that I didn’t wait 20 years.”

It’s the adage: “the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.”

This is very fitting in my life. I seem to have a 3-8 year itch regarding my profession.

It’s hard to believe that after 38+ years, the longest job I held was Sam’s Club 8298. That job was perfect for me. I get bored relatively quickly and try to do more or challenge myself in a different fashion. I could bounce from one section to another without ever having to quit.

In the PT world, it rarely works that way. I may be able to switch locations, but it’s essentially the same job. There’s rarely additional challenge.

I can honestly say that every job, but one, which is a different story for a different day, I left to do better, be better or work harder.

If there is a dream that you have and the opportunity presents itself, what’s stopping you?!

Don’t regret the decision you didn’t make!

Always think of the worst case scenario. How would that worst case scenario affect you and your family?

If it’s not a death blow, why not make the jump? Sink or swim, but do your due diligence before making the jump.

Research what you have to do to be successful. Spend some time that you would’ve slept to figure out how to stick the landing on the jump and not fall flat on your face.

I landed flat on my face and you know what?…

It wasn’t a death blow. We lived to fight again.

Reflections on “The Alchemist” Part XII

“Once you get into the desert, there’s no going back. And when you can’t go back, you have to worry only about the best way of moving forward.”

In 2017, I made the decision to leave a good paying job, with good benefits and it was only an 15 minute commute.

I walked away to take a chance on a better position. It started at less pay, worse benefits, and a 45-60 minute commute each way.

I never looked back. I poured 100% of my efforts into this new position because…there was no going back. I made the decision to better myself and my family’s lot in life. This means that I am working way more than I ever had in the previous job, but it has a much higher upside than the last job would’ve been able to afford my family. There were some growing pains, as now I get paid when we make money and if there is no money being paid, I don’t make as much. It’s the life of an employee vs an employer.

Never take for granted the position of employee. It comes with perks, such as low cost of entry (for the most part just sitting through interviews and hoping to get paid), it comes with a salary (unless you are commission based), it gives benefits such as vacation and sick time.

The role of employer is not as predictable. It has a higher cost of entry. The employer has to purchase equipment , pay employee taxes, doesn’t come with a standard salary (employees get paid first) and it’s is much harder to take a day off when there is no one else that will give the business the same care that the employer does.

This quote applies to any decision in life. Gary Vaynerchuk is famous for saying “don’t do anything half pregnant”. In other words, go all in.

When you have a family depending on you, this is much easier. When you’re younger, you have the ability to taste a bunch of different aspects of life to determine what direction you want to go all in.

But once you make your decision, you go all In and don’t look back!

Reflections on “The Alchemist” Part IX

“There is only one way to learn, it’s through action. Everything you need to know you have learned through your journey.”

Some people are frozen when having to make a decision. Whether it be what type of beer to drink at a brewery or what major to choose in college. I make decisions mischief easier now than when I was younger.

There is only one asset that has a limit and that is time. All other assets are potentially limitless.

I recently went to a brewery with friends. They had a ton of beers on tap. I could’ve spent my time deciding what beer to try while standing at the bar and my friends were at the table discussing life. Why bother?!

Time is more important than a few dollars at that point in the weekend. The amount of time that I would’ve been away from friends that I only get to see but a couple times per year wasn’t worth it for me to be standing at the bar.

I spent a few dollars more and bought a flight of beers. It cost only $3 more than buying one of the 50 beers that they serve. The $3 was a risk I was willing to lose. I only drank one of the 4, but at least tried them all for one sip. I was very satisfied with that decision even though I left 3 beers on the table (mind you I don’t really enjoy drinking to begin with so I would’ve had to ask a lot of questions just to order one beer).

I was able to enjoy conversing with old friends and make memories. That was worth the $3.

I think many people struggle to make decisions because they don’t look at what is lost in the time to make decisions. I recently started learning about decision fatigue and try to make fewer and fewer choices throughout the day. Essentially, my day is very structured (it’s both good and bad, but it’s a trade off). It saves me a lot of time and prevents any sort of stress in decision making by keeping a routine.

This same strategy of weighing cost to benefit works for me in all decisions. I discuss this with all students going into college and professional school. Is the decision to go to college worth it?

The student should have a pretty good stronghold on what they want out of college before signing up for school. Otherwise, that person is spending tens to hundreds of thousands of dollars on an education that they may not use or enjoy the benefits/wages.

There are plenty of trades that one can join at a low cost of entry. If a person is unsure of their life’s purpose, they should do something with a low cost of entry because there is little to keep one from walking away when the time comes. A high cost of entry, not paid for in cash on hand, causes a person to make different decisions and to feel stuck in a position because they will have to pay off the debt that accumulated prior to jumping into a different profession.

I wish this stuff was talked about in college preparatory courses. Unfortunately, many learn the lesson the hard way through decisions that they would not have made if they were 20-30 years older.

Reflections on “The Alchemist” Part VIII

“The secret is here in the present. If you pay attention to the present, you can improve upon it. And, if you improve on the present, what comes later will also be better.”

This was hard for me for so long, until Natalia was born. She really put life into perspective. I loved life for big goals. I would be so focused on the future, that the present was just something that I had to get through in order to reach my goals.

Lenna is our oldest, but it was different. Anita, my wife, is amazing at what she does. She can juggle so many balls in the air at the same time and still manage and take care of Lenna. I never had to worry about that one.

Natalia was different, and not just because she has Down Syndrome. It’s a radical change going from one child to two. Ania needed more help. I spent a lot more time with Natalia, when she was a baby, than with Lenna. It’s the same with our third now, Adam. I spend maybe more time with Adam than Natalia when she was a baby.

That’s only because Ania usually takes care of the other two and I only have to take care of one at a time!

Having Natalia made me slow down a little. I appreciate the cartoons, coloring with Lenna, helping Lenna with her “sight words” (if you don’t have young kids then this is a foreign concept), and working on homework with her. It’s because of the youngest two that I spend more time with the oldest.

Enjoying the present makes me realize the WHY for the future.

Reflections on “The Alchemist” Part VII

“My heart is a traitor… It doesn’t want me to go on.

Naturally it’s afraid that in pursuing your dream, you might lose everything you’ve won.

Well then, why should I listen to my heart?

Because you will never again be able to keep it quiet.”

I have a couple of big picture drivers in my life.

1. Have no regrets

2. Don’t do anything that would bring shame to my dad.

In 2008, my brother died. He died from an overdose of Benedryl…(I hear it all the time, I didn’t know it was possible…me neither).

He had his demons…we all do. He was a great guy, but again, he had his problems. He had been imprisoned for DUI and just got out. He started joining me at the gym and he was making great progress in the gym. He couldn’t squat more than me, but that bastard deadlifted 405 on his first attempt. (I say that out of love because it took me years to lift 405).

Anyway, we would have conversations about serious things every once in a while (we shared a room growing up. I worked overnights and was going to school and at the time he wasn’t working, so the bed was his at night and mine during the day).

Aside: those that know me, know that I am like a tornado. Wherever I go, I organize things so that they make sense to me. This usually means a bunch of separate piles with very clear distinctions between the piles. (It works for me!) Mike, on the other hand, was just a slob! He loved candy. It wasn’t uncommon for me to come home after working overnights and going to school in the morning, only to find a ton of wrappers in the bed and a full cup of coke on the floor. It was like living with a big kid at times (usually that’s one of the ways I get described, but Mike took it to an extreme). I used to think that if I just pushed it all on the floor that he would clean it up…Nope. Just a new pile of wrappers the next day! I miss my brother. He was a good person and was very good to me growing up. I’m going to keep reminiscing a little because…why not?

I used to love to sing Karaoke and was actually a DJ for a while. It paid good money, but I’m glad I stayed in school because: who goes out to sing Karaoke anymore? Mike had a problem with alcohol. I’m not saying anything bad about him, it was just true. It didn’t make him a bad person, but like I said, he had demons. We went out to the bar (mind you, I didn’t drink at the time), after working out (the bar was right next door to the gym). I sang some songs, bought him a Long Island iced tea (I had no clue what this drink was prior to that night) and he listened to me sing a couple of songs. The car ride home (I’m the little brother, obviously not by size). He said, bro I’m proud of you. You grew up in the same house we all did. You can go out to the bar and drink orange juice and have a good time. You work full time and go to school. You’re going to be great at anything you do. (This memory always brings tears).

I was a new grad physical therapist. Not even practicing for a year when my mom called me in the middle of the night to scream through the phone that “I lost my baby!” Those words and that conversation is burned in my brain. That whole night at the hospital was like a haze. Hard to believe.

What’s harder to deal with is that 10+ plus years have passed and how much he’s missed out on. He was great with kids. He would’ve loved my kids. I think of all that he could’ve done and seen. He always wanted to go to Alaska. I made a copy of one of his pictures and carried it with me while we honeymooned in Alaska. I miss my brother.

I learned one thing…life is very short and don’t have any regrets.

The second big picture ideology that I try to live by is to not bring shame to my dad.

You’ll hear me say it frequently that my dad is my Superman. He knows that, which was very important for me to make sure that he knows I’m proud of him and the life he lived and continues to live.

He served as a medic for the 101st Airborne, the Screaming Eagles, in Vietnam. He stated in Vietnam longer than he had to in order to ensure that his younger brother didn’t have to go to Nam. He came home and worked in the family business (construction) for 30+ years. He divorced my birth mom (whom I have no contact with, which is why I say birth mom) and took care of all the kids as best he could. He and Aida worked hard to move us to a quieter area with less shootings. They made the decision to send me to Providence. Essentially, all of the good things I have came from that man.

I disappointed my dad one time. I was 13 and was a shoplifter. I would steal anything just to see if I could.

I got caught at the old Cub Foods on Larkin Ave. I was stealing magazines and baseball cards. I was with my cousin at the time (and I still believe that he got caught, but water under a bridge). I was fined $2,000 and was out in handcuffs, but wasn’t arrested.

I got home that night (understand that my dad typically would wake up at 3 AM to prepare for work) and it was about 11 PM. My mom told him what happened. I was never really punished (aside from paying back $2000, which at the age of 13 wasn’t easy to make…thanks to Norm Fanning for getting me a job shoveling manure). He said that “I’m disappointed in you son”.

I worked my tail off to pay back the fine by the end of summer.

It’s been 25 years and I’d like to believe that I haven’t done anything since that day to bring shame to my dad.

The moral of this story is twofold.

1. Have no regrets.

2. Have a role model in which to look up to and live up to.

Thanks for reading.

I got to go see a man about a horse.

Reflections on “The Alchemist” Part VI

“Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second encounter with God and with eternity.”

This rings true in my life. I thank my wife for supporting me in my decision to do more as a PT.

I had fear of jumping out of the position I had and jumping into a new position in a different city with a new company.

We played out worst case scenarios and you know what?…

Worst case scenario played out.

The clinic loses due to issues outside of my control and I was without a job.

The work that I put into trying to make the first clinic a success is what landed me the second job. The second job came with a substantial raise, but no time off of work. Those that know me, also know that this is not an issue. I enjoy my profession so much that I give back to the profession free of charge most nights. Working more hours is not an issue, at this point in time.

When I speak to students or those looking for their life’s meaning, I typically spend some time playing Devil’s advocate. I will use my best logic and knowledge to dissuade someone from following their dream. If I can convince someone that they should not do something within a 30 minute conversation, the reason FOR doing that something was not very strong.

Usually, the argument that dissuades people FROM making a decision is MONEY! I’ve found that when money is the driver, it’s easy to help that person discover what they really want.

1. Why does salary matter?

Because I want to make enough to support myself

2. What experience have you had that led you to believe that life is harder without money?

Xyz from childhood

3. Could you live on $60K/year?

Usually the answer is yes.

4. How many professions pay at least $30/hr?

They do a little research and then things start to open up a little more regarding what they would like to do or other options.

When money is the driver, it clouds our judgement.

If you believe that money buys happiness, I’m sure you’ve made decisions based on finances.

Sometimes it’s as simple as living on a few dollars less than you make. That becomes a lot easier to manage.

I’m reminded of stories from the Dave Ramsey Millionaire hour. Many people making less than $75k per year go on to have millions because they followed that one simple concept: spend a little less than you make.

Follow your passion! Follow your purpose!

Money is easy to get, but happiness and satisfaction in life…not so much. Too many other aspects cloud our judgement.

Love your life or change it!

No regrets!

Reflections on “The Alchemist” Part V

“Most people see the world as a threatening place, and, because they do, the world turns out, indeed, to be a threatening place.”

This is very applicable, especially in the healthcare profession.

Patient’s expectations and beliefs seem to be a major driver regarding outcomes.

Bad things always happen. If you believe that bad things will always happen, instead of good things, then when bad things happen reinforces your bias.

If one believes that good things will always happen, when bad things happen it’s a deviation from the norm. It’s only a blip in the radar. It is not life consuming.

Changing outlook is not easy. In physical therapy, we are consistently striving to change a patient’s belief system in order to create an actionable change in their health.

I believe that this outlook on life is a learning year. I continue to harp on my parenting, but my father is amazing. He has lived through a bunch of shit, and yet he still has a positive outlook.

When I say he is my superman, and that I have large shoes to fill, I mean it. My father has lived in Vietnam as a medic. He lived with divorce and was left to raise five kids by himself. Yet he still has a positive view on everything.

At that point, who am I to have a negative view, when I have seen this man go through hell and still pull through?

Another thing that I believe needs to happen in order to change outlook is perspective. Had I had grown up in a perfect household, Leave it to Beaver style, my perspective maybe different room getting out into the real world.

I’ve known many younger than I am up in the bubbling, and when entering the real world were slapped in the face. Their perspective change their view to a negative outlook and a woe is me perspective.

I spent this weekend in Atlanta visiting some friends. Part of my time was having a conversation with a homeless person in Atlanta. When you see how the other side lives, whether high on the hog or down in the streets, it gives you perspective and it either makes you feel grateful or resentful.

I am glad that I am extremely grateful.