Why does my world Keep on tumbling down
I love my life with a smile because I’m afraid to frown
People see my smile and think everything’s okay
I live the way they want me to, never my own way.
Why do I let their words change my life
They only bring me pain and unwanted strife.
Is my life worth living is a question that I ask
Taking my own life is a complicated task.
I don’t want to die, I just want to kill the man you see
Because under all this happiness lies the real me.
I’m okay. This is the start to my next blog, which was inspired by today’s Gary Vaynerchuk episode with Kevin Love.
I was diagnosed as bipolar when I was 20ish.
it was on/off, run/sleep. I once put a car on a credit card. It’s just the way that I lived. Go hard and then shut down.
In 2015ish. I had a panic attack and seriously thought I was going to die. The worst part of it for me was that it happened at work. Work had always been my safe place. I was always a rock at work.
Thinking you’re going to die causes you to quickly establish priorities. The only people that I thought about at the time was Ania and Lenna. I thought about how they would make it without me.
This event caused me to make some changes in life because I realized my priorities.
Since that time, I have made decisions to most positively affect my family. I stopped putting as much stress on myself and I started having fun again.
No different than playing 3 on 3 as a kid. No different than Kairos.
I just Let Go and Let God.
Since that time, I’ve talked to a therapist and am having more fun in life almost 40 than I have in a long period of time.
If you are having issues that seem overwhelming and you are having trouble shaking…talk to someone.